I know my writing tends to be informative and primarily formulated around physical health. However, today I’d like to speak to investing. Not financially, but within people. I believe this topic of discussion has a great deal to do with mental health and can either foster good or poor health. Right? If you’re following me, continue to invest in me;)
As a graduate who has now been fully immersed within the ‘real’ world for about a year now, I’ve come to a cross roads in most of my relationships. They say this period of transition is natural for those around my age… They say that relationships evolve and expire over the years… They say how hard it becomes to maintain relationships with the increase in life’s responsibilities. Whose they right? We’ve all heard this advice at one point or another over the years from those who have experienced this transition, as if it were some curse that was given to us at birth.
I’ve always been one to enjoy my friendships with a large scope of friends. They all give me support, assurance and lets be honest a heck of a lot of fun times! One thing that has been unique for me, even as a young child, is that I’ve always held friends with multiple people in very different ‘groups’ if you will. Very few of them all know one another, get together and live near me or each other. With that, I’ve always gotten together with a friend or two at a given time. Not a big deal, but the older I’m getting the more I’m realizing how difficult maintaining these relationships truly are… Anyone else in the same boat?
I’ve recently come across a blog post that outlines female specific friendships and the troubles that present themselves over the years. One quote in particular resonated with me,
“I didn’t count on feeling depleted and stretched too thin as a result of investing in too many people instead of creating a thoughtful portfolio. I ended up with a phone book filled with people who were willing to uncork the champagne when times were flush but couldn’t be counted on during the moments when I wallowed my way down a bottle of red wine.”-Felicia Sullivan, love.life.eat
For me and I’m sure for a lot of you, this couldn’t be more spot on! I’ve come to a point in my life where I would much rather invest in people who I have invested in and who have invested in me just as equally. It’s easy for those who have close friends who are easily accessible, maybe single, and have similar responsibilities to them to read this post and not fully relate to what I’m sharing. However, take one chess pieces out in that equation and the game gets a little more difficult to play. People evolve at all ages and stages of life; who would have thought that friendships out of all things needed regulating? It’s easy to fall back on those that catch you and to assume the connection that has always brought you together will remain. I know for one, “liking” “sharing” and the newest “reacting” to your BF’s social media shares are not the way to
maintain your relationship. Facebook especially has a great way of reminding you of your “friends” birthdays. What do you do? Give them a birthday shout out, wish them a great day, and if you haven’t seen them in awhile say something eluding to your need to get together and catch up! You’re being a nice person, but sadly enough, it’s become the nice status quo. Trust me, I’m as guilty as the next person.
When did it all change? When did friendships that once were your quench of fulfillment diminish? I can attest that spouses, work, family, and kids for some take that precious time away from your friends. Rightfully so, but invested friends should also be a priority in life, because ladies lets be real with ourselves, our men can’t give us the late night deep drunk talks, the fun and not so fun female experiences, and the support a man just can’t give no matter how great he is!
Maybe it’s time to do a little spring cleaning, I know it is for me. The older you get the less time you will be able to give to others, so I think it’s time to figure out who you want to invest your time within.
Who was there through thick and thin? Who went the extra mile to make an effort even when it wasn’t convenient for them? Who was happy for you when you needed praise and support? Who included you in life’s happenings because they truly appreciated your friendship and your presence, not your number within the group? On the flip side, who did you really not pay much attention to this year, why didn’t you? Who do you miss, but life truly has just gotten in the way? Re-kindle whats meant to be inflamed, and leave behind whats meant to be left. It might be overwhelming and uncomfortable to re-evaluate people in that light, but I guarantee it will feel refreshing and enlightening.
Hope this helps those that are in my shoes! Like Oprah Winfrey once said, “Lots of people want to ride the limo, but what you want is someone who will ride the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”